Word Association

A simple way to waste an hour on msn :P we didn't even say "Let's play Word Association!!!" I just said "Cat....." (cos the cat sat next to me), and thus it began.

I think we repeat ourselves once or twice...

Credit for this goes to me and Lix (lix-0032.blogspot.com).

cat..... dog, bone, marrow, blood, oxygen, air, breath, lungs, life, birth, baby, smile, beauty, brains, intelligence, philosophy, Religion, evil, Satanic ritual, neighbours, Hedges, secrets, trust, friendship, honesty, lies, mistrust, doubt, confusion, misunderstanding, ending, beginning, cycle, wheel, turning, grinding, intimacy, commitment, love, heart, red, passionate, romance, poetry, literature, stories, fantasy, fiction, fact, science, technology, addictive, constant, infinite, powerful, corrupt, government, dictator, tyrant, villain, antihero, tragedy, loss, sadness, comfort, caring, loyalty, faithful, companionship, acquaintance, fellowship, hobbits, small, big, enormous, giants, trolls, dolls, children, innocence, falsity, phony, spy, sneak, thief, bread, slice, knife, spork, unique, special, worshipped, God, deity, Idealistic, Dreamer, Clouds, Relaxation, drowzyness, sleep, Want, desire, longing, emotion, personal, private, sharing, selfless, respect, status, amount, quantity, love, truth, self-respect, confidence, loyal, reliability.

Not bad for an hour and 5 minutes.

Grizzly Bears Are Too Caring...

Quote of the day today: 'The "selfish man" is he who would do the thing, even if it harmed others, so long as it gave him pleasure; the "unselfish man" is he who would still do the thing, even if it gave him no pleasure, so long as it pleased others.' - Lewis Carroll (1832-1898).

And I, 99.9% of the time, am the second of those. Could be seen as unfortunate, could be seen as fortunate. I can't decide which it is. My dad once told me you can't go through life to trying to please everyone. Well, with my friends at least, I try my damned hardest.

Which is why I go crazy when I can't help them. If one of my friends is down or upset I like to be able to attempt to cheer them up or help them out. Sometimes I'm crap at it. Sometimes apparently I help. But when I can't help it drives me round the bend cos I don't know what to do. I can't stand seeing my friends/family upset. A bit like a mother grizzly with her cubs. Protect them from danger.

But unfortunately, you can't help everyone. Some people can't be helped, and some people don't want to be helped. And sometimes your advice/attempts at cheering up don't cut it. So I just need to keep repeating that to myself and maybe eventually the message will get through my thick sensitive head.

Je suis trop sensible ¬¬

Judging a book by its blurb and cover.

I thought I was beginning to conform recently...

I bother to wear make-up to college, and got annoyed one day when I forgot it. Two years ago I never would've done that. I would've just been like "Meh...oh well." Although two years ago I didn't wear make-up full stop. Didn't see the point. Still don't really if I'm honest.

I even bought some boots before christmas, that look a little cowboy bootish. I liked them and they fit. Then I discovered they were in fashion...But it didn't bother me. I don't follow fashion at all, but if I like something that's in fashion, and think I'll wear it, I'll buy it.

But more than anything else, in the last few years I've become more and more sociable. I used to be the quiet kid who sat against the wall, or under my tree (yes, MY tree), reading a book or something, not talking to anyone. Sure if someone came over I'd talk to them, but I wouldn't make an effort to talk to anyone. And no, I was not an "emo kid" ¬¬ I just used to prefer to be alone. At 13 it seemed you couldn't have a conversation that wasn't about make-up, boys, parties, or just bitchy gossip. I hate gossip, but that is a rant for another time. I guess I was a bit of a loner, but not a real one, cos I had a few close friends. I miss my days of semi-solitude...they were so much simpler. I didn't have to please anyone except myself. But I love all the friends I have now. Do you hear me?!! YOU'RE ALL MINT!!!!!! (I'm sure they heard that in Australia...). I wouldn't go back to my loner-ness now.

But my determination to not conform has been kept strong by my lack of listening to other people's opinions on other people. If there's one thing I hate it's people taking one look at a person and saying, "Oh yeah they're obnoxious/irritating/arrogant/foul-mouthed/weird/scary, so I hate them and I'm not gonna talk to them." WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP TAKING EVERYONE AT FACE VALUE!!! I know I do it sometimes, and this is therefore a rather hypocritical thing to be yelling at you, but at least I'm working on it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that over half of the people out there will meet someone and BAM! they form an opinion almost straight off. No one seems to get to know anyone anymore and conversations remain superficial. I blame msn personally (another rant for another time).

The whole catalyst for this rant was that I realised, a little like one of my best mates, I will often befriend the person that people bitch about. We met because of this. She was being looked after by a girl in her class. We were all in cookery together, and she saw me washing up, wearing an apron with a cat's face on (we both love cats ^_^). When my best-mate-to-be asked the girl who was looking after her who I was, she replied, "Oh that's Alanna. She's really grumpy don't talk to her." And so, of course, my-bezzie-to-be bounded straight over and started helping me with the washing up. We've been best mates ever since.

The thing is that it's not out of pity, like, "OMG EVERYONE HATES THEM?? *wells up* I MUST BEFRIEND THEM!!!" That's not it at all. (That only happens when buying copies of Leroux's Phantom of the Opera online and seeing that one particular copy is an unwanted gift, and going, "OMG IT'S UNWANTED?? *wells up* I MUST BUY IT!!!") I've found it's because often enough this person won't conform to the normal look, won't be fashionable, and gives off the aura of not giving a damn what other people think, which I always admire. In short, it's the fact that they are utterly themselves that attracts me to them. And that's often the same reason why all the *cough* "popular" *cough* type people don't like them - because they're "different." Thing is the "different" people always turn out to be the most interesting people I've ever met, with different views on things.

And besides I also like to prove judgmental people wrong...

I just hate the fact that people's reputations are determined in seconds, and speak for them. No one gets to know anyone anymore, people just assume things that they've heard are true. Unless you were there and you saw/heard it happen, then don't believe a word of it. Go and talk to whoever you want to talk to, and if they turn out to be exactly like everyone said, so be it, and least you know that now yourself and you aren't just judging a book by it's blurb and cover.

Eco-geek

*points big green arrow, made from recycled materials, framed by energy saving bulbs, at self* I've only realised recently how much of an eco-geek I've become. Although, to be honest, I always was one.

I'll say now, I'm not being all eco-friendly because of global warming - that reason for doing it has almost become a fashion statement now, and frankly annoys me. I just love nature, and don't want it to be ruined. I really should have been a pagan...but I haven't the nerve.

I've now managed to train my family to turn off lights when they aren't in rooms (although they still forget sometimes. My brother and his friend left my TV and Guitar Hero on in my room tonight ¬¬). I turn off the TV at the plug too cos for some reason our TV set won't turn off fully. Plus I'm a little paranoid about TVs on standby (i'll probably post a blog about that sometime. Maybe the next one...). I recycle, and buy recycled stuff when I can, cos I like trees. They're fun to climb...and sit in. And they give us oxygen, even if only a little. And animals live in them. And they look cool. Yeah I could talk about trees for a while.....

Why I'm writing this I'm not entirely sure. I'm that tired I'm going cross-eyed. I'll look back through this in the morning and go and have a Tamaki moment in the corner...

I think I'm just sick of the whole "Going Green" thing being a bit of a fashion statement at the moment. It's something you should WANT to do, not do because "everyone else is doing it". Nature is a beautiful thing and it should be preserved.

Go watch Sacred Planet, the nature documentary by Disney, narrated by Robert Redford. It's only 45 minutes long, but it's absolutely magical and it really opens your eyes...

Night night *splat*

I swear to God I'm a madman

I'm sorry to say that I lied. This blog is not going to be a very philosophical, insightful one.

It's going to be all about me ^_^

Instead of ad libbing (which I generally usually fail at), here's what I wrote for my English Language teacher when she asked us to write a short piece, informing her of what we were like:

'There's a lot about me that you probably wouldn't guess from looking at the long-haired girl sitting on top of a table by herself. You would probably figure out that I like to be alone, and that, if at the time I have my headphones in (which I often do), I like music. However hardly anyone except my closest friends know just how wide the range of music I listen to is. One minute I'll tell you I'm listening to the Jupiter symphony from The Planets by Gustav Holst, and the next thing you know I'll be jumping around like a madman to Caramelldansen, a Swedish pop song for children, or perhaps The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars.*

It's possible that you could also guess that I like to read; as to what genre I like, you would have no chance. I developed a love of appearing enigmatic in my early teens, and will often purposefully make sure that no one can see the cover of the book I'm reading, so as to intrigue people.

My previous English teacher once told me that I was a female version of Holden Caulfield from 'The Catcher in the Rye'. I completely agree with him: I'm very cynical; I have a tendency of wandering around with no particular destination in mind; I care about children and what will happen to them - I would also like to be a "catcher in the rye"; I'm not much of a people person, but if I'm too long without company I get lonely; I can say something, completely and honestly meaning it at the time, and then think afterwards, "Hold on. I didn't mean a word of that." And lastly, I say I'm not religious, and yet if I've done something or thought of doing something bad, I feel guilty and start to think about God.'

So there you go. You now know as much about me as my English Language teacher does. And it's still only the tip of the iceberg :P mwahahahahaha

*I know I said I hate screamo, but I don't mind a couple 30 Seconds to Mars songs cos they're actually mostly singing. So long as it's a good song with a good singer I can forgive a small screamo section - like in Miss Murder by AFI.

Bonjour!!!

My first blog... 

Maybe that is a big deal, maybe it's not, we'll find out in time, but for now, I'll make a big deal of it, because I can ^_^

Well, in a nutshell, I figured I'd get a blog cos on rare occasions I like to write stuff, but people rarely seem to listen( or rather, read). That's probably because the only other blog I really use properly is on myspace ¬¬ No offence to myspace of course, but it's just that it's a very...superficial site, and not really the best outlet for me.

And since I'm now reading more again (I went through a bit of a dark phase, that I've only recently begun to come out of, of being addicted to the internet. I still am, slightly, but I'm reading more again. Thank god *falls over*), and I was recently invited along to the philosophy club (and found I enjoyed it; although I know literally nothing about politics, which, no matter what we begin talking about, we always digress onto...) I will have moments of "divine (??)  inspiration" more often, and can ramble and/or rant on here.

Whilst I'm here, I may as well do a little selfish advertising for myself:

My dA page: meg-glinda-aluna.deviantart.com 

- just a load of my photography, mostly nature-lanscapey type photos.

And a little selfless advertising for someone else:

Iron-Gibbet: iron-gibbet.deviantart.com

- a great artist, who has done tons of Phan Art, including his comic Requiem Mask. Check it out.

So hopefully my next blog will be on a more insightful subject... My mother tells me I have an annoying level of insight, and people have told me once or twice to "Leave [them] alone and stop trying to figure [them] out." even when I wasn't trying to figure them out O_o

Oh, and I apologise in advance for my habit of randomly slipping in other languages.

Au revoir!!! :D